Tue, 22 Jul 2008

Thoughts on Parenthood

Now that we're on day 5, I thought I'd offer a few insights on parenthood from the perspective of someone who is only five days in.
  • Expect to have your priorities redefined. When "stuff happens", you'll be surprised how easy it is to pop out of bed and deal with them.
  • If "falling in love" is the first stage of emotional maturity, the second stage is "the love for a child". The human race probably wouldn't have evolved/survived without the chemical/emotional changes that happen to parents when a child is born.
  • This was painfully obvious to me when I witnessed my baby's circumcision (which was the most difficult decision we had to make). While the actual event was probably not particularly painful, they have to strap your baby's legs down to perform the procedure, and that distresses an already distressed baby even more. Seeing your own helpless and vulnerable child flail in front of you is heartwrenching. It's probably one of the most emotional things that has ever happened to me.
  • Now I know what my mom meant when she'd chide me in saying "when you're a parent, you'll know".
  • My heart goes out to parents who have to take their kids to an emergency room and hear them cry/wail as they receive treatment. You know you're doing the right thing, but hearing your child cry out in pain is the greatest emotional anguish you'll probably ever know.
  • That experience makes the other difficult decision we had to make --selecting a name-- seem tame by comparison.
  • Our naming process worked like a double elimination sports tournament. We kept on pitting names up against each other until a few favorites were left. Those that got "eliminated" could compete for "middle name".
  • The criteria for name selection included: 1) Relatively unique (no Chris or Mike or John) 2) Not so uncommon that it would require him to spell it each time 3) No same initials, 4) Have some kind of heritage that matched one of our backgrounds and 5) Domain still available
  • After we decided we couldn't find a name that filled all categories, I decided #4 could suffer at the hands of #2.
  • Hence one of the other favorites on our list, "Carson" began to gain favor as a "corrupted" version of Karsten.
  • Alexander, which had been a leading candidate, then became available as a middle name. Alexander had a lot going for it as well, considering that it has a Turkish derivative (criteria #4) of "İskender".)
  • "Carson Klatt" has a rhyme and alliterative ring to it that most of the other names lacked.
  • I'm apparently the 10th guy in the statistic that 9 out of 10 car seats are installed improperly. (The nurse from the hospital asked "You installed this?"... When I said "yes", she gave me a fist bump and said "Nice!"
  • Diapers and diaper changes aren't nearly as bad as you'd think. Newborn poop isn't all that foul smelling, probably because they don't have well-established colonies of bacteria in their intestines? Not that I've gotten that close to find out...
  • Taking care of a crying baby isn't really tough at all. In fact, it's quite easy. You check if he's wet himself (infant clothes make this easy, with crotch snaps, zippers, etc.), and change the diaper if he has. You check to see if he's hungry, which is simply a matter of touching his cheek (if he's hungry, his instinct is to turn towards something that resembles a nipple). And when you're done feeding him, you rub or pat his back for a few minutes after each meal to get expel any any gas in his stomach.
  • Of course, he'll be crying if he is wet, hungry, or gassy, but comforting him is actually really easy too. His website is down right now, but Dr. Karp's "The Happiest Baby" techniques totally work. (If it's still down, just use google's cached version to bring up his site)
  • The toughest thing is that we have to keep on waking him up to feed him every 3-5 hours, which means Christine and I are constantly looking for opportunities to take a nap.
  • Breastfeeding (we're trying to avoid formula) is really tough. Finding good resources online and in the health care community is key. Friends advise us to "stick with it", which is difficult, but worth it from a nutritional and bonding perspective. Pumping is nice for me because it means I can take a more active role in feeding.
There are probably a few other nuggets to share, but I hear a cooing baby that needs attention (which reminds me a of another tip-- quieting a baby is easier if you catch them before they work themselves up).


Name/Blog: Chris Jensen
URL:
Title:
Comment/Excerpt: The first few days are really, really, really easy ... and then the green poo comes... [Theme from Jaws] Best wishes and good luck. :-)

Name/Blog: Maelyn
URL:
Title:
Comment/Excerpt: It took almost 6 weeks for us to establish breastfeeding, plus many trips to the lactation consultant...worthwhile in the end. A resource we turned to quite a bit: www.kellymom.com/ and the book The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins. (and two years later, The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning!)

Name/Blog: Shawn McGehee
URL:
Title: Congratulations
Comment/Excerpt: Congratulations on a beautiful baby!



Change I Don't Believe In

Barack Obama disappointed me when he recently voted for the "Telecom Immunity" package allowing for warrantless eavesdropping on US citizens. In his response to the flurry of criticism that followed, Barack stated:
Given the choice between voting for an improved yet imperfect bill, and losing important surveillance tools, I've chosen to support the current compromise. I do so with the firm intention -- once I’m sworn in as President -- to have my Attorney General conduct a comprehensive review of all our surveillance programs, and to make further recommendations on any steps needed to preserve civil liberties and to prevent executive branch abuse in the future.
Our civil rights are guaranteed by the Constitution. Adopting legislation whose "check and balance" against executive abuse is oversight by an appointee by the executive itself is laughable.

While it's fairly likely that Obama will win in November, what if he doesn't? That should be the standard by which any legislation is judged-- not "what is the implication of this policy when used properly", but rather "what is the implication of this policy when intentionally abused?"

Obama continues:
...When citizens join their voices together, they can hold their leaders accountable. I'm not exempt from that. I'm certainly not perfect, and expect to be held accountable too. I cannot promise to agree with you on every issue. But I do promise to listen to your concerns, take them seriously, and seek to earn your ongoing support to change the country. ... And going forward, some of you may decide that my FISA position is a deal breaker.That's ok. But I think it is worth pointing out that our agreement on the vast majority of issues that matter outweighs the differences we may have.

Obama is right, this is a deal breaker for me. I will no longer actively participate in the Obama campaign, and I will no longer make quarterly donations to his campaign. Barring a more viable candidate joining the race, I'll still vote for Barack, but without the taste of kool-aid in my mouth. Instead, I'll invest my political and financial energies on progressives like Darcy Burner who is running for Dave Reichert's seat.





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