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I Can't Stand Letterman, But He Has His Moments

I just don't get David Letterman. I can't stand his show (actually, I don't know who's worse-- Dave or Paul), I don't find him funny, and his skits are as boring as his banter with his guests.

Until last night.

OMG. Choice quotes:

Letterman: How're your holidays, good?
O'Reilly: I had a nice winter solstice.... yeah.
...(laughter)...
Letterman: OK.
O'Reilly: You can't say Christmas.
Letterman: You can't say Christmas?
O'Reilly: No.
Letterman: Why's that?
O'Reilly: Because it's politically incorrect.
Letterman: See I wasn't aware you couldn't say Christmas... When did this happen?
O'Reilly: Um, Sears/Kmart started it, said "no more christmas", it's all "happy holidays" or "winter solstice"...
...

It's actually pretty amusing to know who O'Reilly thinks is the "Gavrilo Princip" of the War on Christmas. (The analogy is particularly fitting because the assassination only succeeded due to an unwitting mistake on the part of Ferdinand's driver, much like the unwitting war that Sears/Kmart seems to have kicked off!)

Seriously though, if we're to take O'Reilly at his word about this "war", the real perpetrators (you know, the companies who have shifted the 'meaning' of Christmas from the birth of Christ to "Santa's coming to town") are more than just "Sears/Kmart". It includes Coca-Cola, WalMart, Macy's, JC Penney, and every other corporate entity who starts advertising Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. You know, all the people who advertise on Fox News.

But I guess it's a bit too anti-American consumerist capitalist for O'Reilly to suggest that Christmas should consist of a simple celebration of the birth of Jesus the way that Joseph and Mary celebrated it... You know, no wrapped presents, no tree, no christmas lights or ornaments, no Christmas music. To bemoan the activity of Sears/Kmart, whose motivations are not, as O'Reilly might think, anti-Christian (if anything, they would be pro-profit) is gross hyperbole.

This, of course, begs the question of whether "Sears/Kmart" had anything at all to do with the coining of the "Happy Holidays" message in the first place. I suspect it was some poor guy at Hallmark who, right after designing the "My Condolences, I Heard You Got Herpes" card, was berated by the VP of Sales asking him why the hell they had shipped boxfuls of "Merry Christmas" cards to the Hallmark Store in Greenwich Village in New York City right before Hannukah. (Oy vey, what a schlemeil!)

In fact, I bet the folks at Hallmark thought they'd hit the lottery with that one-- "Hey, look Merv, with the 'Happy Holidays' cards, we can make all the damn religious people happy all at the same time!" Like all "one size fits all" ideas, its very intention was probably to be neutral and non-offensive (sorta like unisex spandex methinks). So I find it somewhat Quixotian to have O'Reilly tilt at this particular windmill as if it is some grave threat to his dear "minority" religion.

Anyway, Letterman eventually tells O'Reilly that "60% of what you say is crap." Priceless.

Here's a quicktime torrent of the Letterman/O'Reilly interview.

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