Doors Slammed Shut on Infant Fingers Poses Amputation Risk
Toyota to take $1 Billion charge since idiotic parents slam doors when their children's fingers are in the jamb.
AP, Tokyo - Toyota today announced a voluntary recall of every vehicle they have manufactured since 1972 to repair a key design flaw in their vehicles. Prompted after dozens of complaints to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, Toyota's voluntary recall takes effect immediately. A senior Toyota official, speaking on condition of anonymity admitted the flaw in their vehicles.
"When we designed these vehicles, we made the foolish choice of using what is called a 'hinge', made of steel, that allows the car door, also made of steel, to swing open and shut. What we didn't factor back at the time was that when such a steel hinge is operated, and soft tissue like children's fingers are placed in the jamb, an amputation risk exists. While it may seem evident now, one must remember that such consequences were not obvious at the time."
Consumer advocate Ralph Nader, known for his relentless guardianship of consumer rights was critical of Toyota. "It's about time that Toyota came to acknowledge the design flaw in its doors, but they have stopped too short. I have been criticizing all automakers, including Toyota about the inherent safety flaws in their vehicles for years. Take, for example, that every car manufacturer ships their vehicles with what they call 'bumpers' made of steel and plastic. Clearly, from the name alone, these products were designed to protect the vehicle when it 'bumps' into objects, which occasionally include human beings. Consumers should not relent until all carmakers recall all vehicles on the road and remove every single object that may bump into another object from their vehicles. Alternatively, all vehicles should be shipped with immobilization devices that permanently prevent them from moving."
Toyota suggests that any consumers wishing to take part in the voluntary recall contact their local Toyota dealership.
(Editor's note: Satire contributed to this story. Similarity to a recall of a popular stroller brand is purely incidental)